A Good Sermon Gone Bad

This past Sunday, I royally messed up what had been a good service. At least, I ruined the service for my daughter. I was introducing a new family to the congregation. One of their children was having fun going up and down the stairs of the stage. People in the congregation were giggling. I attempted to set everyone at ease with some comments about how much we love children and about how one of my own children had done something funny our first Sunday at the church. I'll leave out the details of that story here because as I soon realized, in sharing the story in full there I had mortified my eight-year-old daughter. She was two at the time of the story, but that did not matter to her. She buried her head beneath my jacket after church, and her tears communicated the hurt I had inflicted on her. 

I felt awful. Not only had I embarrassed her but I had broken my agreement with her. For several years, we've had a deal that I will only mention my children in my sermon with their permission. Most of the time my children consent to a story being used, but when they don't, I find another illustration. Since I prepare early and write a manuscript, this is usually an easy agreement to keep. What got me in trouble this past Sunday was the fact that these were off the cuff remarks meant to put another at ease. That didn't matter to my daughter, of course. I apologized, took her to her favorite restaurant, and eventually was granted a pardon.

Later that day, I decided to amend our agreement. I told them that very often when a writer or a speaker uses someone else's work as a part of his own work, he has to pay that person a royalty or a fee. I told them that not only would I still get their permission before using a story of them in the sermon, now I would agree to pay them a fee for the use of that story. We settled on $5. My six-year-old son immediately said I did not have to ask him. For $5 I could tell any story I wanted! My daughter still wants me to ask permission, but she liked the idea immensely - more I think for the respect it shows her than the money she'll make.

I got the idea from a friend who is the editor of a large Baptist newspaper who would sometimes mention his children in an column. I think he got the idea from another newspaper friend. I like it because it helps me honor my children as actual people and not as simply material for my sermons.  

I wonder, what are your thoughts in including your own children as sermon illustrations?

Life as a short preacher

Last week I was visiting with one of our 5th graders about being baptized. We were standing in the baptistery (sans water). I asked her if she had any questions. She said that she had always wondered what the cinder block in the bottom of the baptistery was for (our baptistery is level with the stage and it is easy for young ones to peer over the edge into it). I explained that shorter people will often stand on the block during their baptisms so that they they are easier to see.

She replied, "Oh, I always though it was for you."

I laughed, but the girl's mother shot her a look, as if to say, "That's not polite."

The 5th grader continued, "What?! That's what all the kids say."

Out of the mouth of babes. . .

From around the Web this week

A man in South Africa, thought to be dead by friends and family, woke up after spending 21 hours in a morgue refrigerator. Workers went screaming from the building after hearing his screams thinking he was a ghost. Lots of applications from this one from thoughts on the resurrection to what it's like to mistake a person for being dead.

CNN's Faith Blog listed ten things they learned in their first year of existence.  Included in their findings, Atheist like to comment on religious stories; Americans, though very religious, don't actually know much about religion; and people are still interested in the Bible.

What does your church communicate about its beliefs through its Sunday morning worship service?  Skye Jethani, senior editor of Leadership Journal writes about his 9-year-old daughter's encounter with two different churches: one liturgical and one contemporary.  In one church she notices the cross, the Bible, and communion.  In the other, she notices they have a coffee shop.  Worth your read.

Finally, to brag on my wife, she has written an excellent piece about grief, the church, and learning to worship not only with, but for one another.

Around the web this week

Here are articles I've found interesting around the web this past week.

One of my professors, Roger Olson, asks the question, "Whatever happened to the cross?"  His thoughts apply to worship in general, but certainly are good reading for the preacher.  Olson writes, "The cross, properly, biblically understood and not reduced to a martyrdom, is scandalous. But it is a scandal central to the gospel and therefore to Christianity. I am not sure one can find Christianity where the cross is absent or diminished in importance." After reading his article, the preacher is left reflecting upon the question, "How often am I preaching the scandalous good news of the cross?

Christian singer/songwriter, Shaun Groves, writes about the difficulty of finding just the right word for a song about God.  He sounds like a preacher when he confesses, "I write about God because I love Him deeply. And yet because I love Him, I’m afraid to write about Him."

In England, a six year old girl wrote a letter to God and the Bishop of Canterbury answered on God's behalf. Read his well-crafted answer here.

Illustration-a-day: Meeting a real celebrity

A few years ago, I heard the delightful story of Troy Aikman taking his daughter to a Miley Cyrus, aka Hannah Montana, concert. This was back when Miley was at her most popular and her Hanna Montana concerts were selling out in matters of minutes, not hours, not days, minutes. Troy Aikman, being a dad with connections, he was able to get his daughter front row tickets and a chance to go back stage and meet Miley. Now, back stage, some of the stage hands came up and asked for Aikman’s autograph, which is understandable to any of us old enough to know that Aikman’s main gig in life wasn’t as a commentator for FOX Sports. Aikman laughed, though, as he told of the incident saying, his daughter was befuddled as to why anyone would be paying attention to her dad when someone as great as Miley Cyrus was in their presence. His daughter would later confess to her dad, her dad the three-time Super Bowl Champion quarterback, “This is so cool, I’ve never met a real celebrity before.”

Illustration-a-day: Doubts that Shout

Frank Schaeffer recently wrote an article for the Huffington Post entitled, "Franklin Graham, Religious Extremism, Dad, God and Me (Confessions of a Former Religious Nut Leader)". His basic argument is that people with the most doubts tend to shout more loudly and more harshly than others. Actually, that's not quite his point. He has plenty of doubts and doesn't seem to be prone to shouting anymore. More accurately, perhaps, is the idea that people with repressed doubts shout with a ferocity that leads to extremism.

Another insightful point in the article is Schaeffer's assertion that all Christian leaders suffer from the temptation to be relevant. This temptation leads them to use a rhetoric of certainty that often goes beyond the reality of their own beliefs. Whether we should paint all Christian leaders with as broad a brush as Schaeffer does, the article raises some challenging thoughts that might work their way into a sermon.

• What do the struggles of the children of celebrity Christians (who have seen their fathers' feet of clay) teach us about the tendency of Christians to treat their leaders as infallible? Do just the children of the leaders suffer or do we all suffer in some way?


• What is the role of uncertainty and doubt in faith? Is uncertainty the same thing as being humble? The Pharisees in John 9 had lots of certainty, but they didn't have faith, nor were they very humble.


• What is the role of being relevant in the proclamation of the gospel? In what ways does attempting to be relevant, important, significant create problems for the church?

Illustration a day: What makes rich people sad?

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/concerns-super-rich-wealth-bring-happiness/story?id=13167578

A great article on the limits of wealth to make a person happy. The article is well balanced. It recognizes the misery of poverty. On most days, it is better than to have some money over having none. But there are limits to how much happiness can come from having lots and lots of money. Having lots of money can cause as many problems as it solves. The quotes from the super wealthy are great. One section in the article rich (no pun intended!) for application is the section that talks about how spending one's money can shape one's happiness. Spending one's money on others does seem to improve one's happiness.

This article lends itself to several different possibilities for sermon use.

Illustration-a-day: When prayer doesn't work

The other day my family sat down to supper. My 4-year-old son, John Curtis, sat down with a scowl on his face. He had missed his nap and his fuse was now short. We asked him if he would like to offer the blessing to which he simply stuck out his lip and grunted. We turned to our 6-year-old, daughter Sophie, who obliged. "Dear God, thank for this day. Thank you for our food. Help my brother John Curtis not be so grumpy. Amen."

Immediately, John Curtis, cut her a look that could kill and blurted out, "Hmpff! Your prayer didn't work!"

Thoughts on using this illustration: What does it mean to pray for other people? Do we ever use prayer just to stick it to someone? I think about the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector. Can our prayers sometimes do more harm than good if voiced out loud in front of the others for whom we are praying? What does it mean to pray for another person's actions, attitudes, etc. in light of the fact that they have free will?